Quotes

 

 


 

 

"If you had one more brain cell, it would die of loneliness."

 

"Author Unknown"

 

 


 

 

"Life is tough, life is tougher if your stupid."

 

"John Wayne"

 

 


 

 

"Makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine."

 

"Larry the Cable Guy"

 

 


 

 

"Bigamy is having one wife too many, monogamy is the same...."

 

"Author Unknown"

 

 


 

 

"The only difference between a saint and a sinner is that 

every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."

 

"Author Unknown"

 

 


 

 

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, sure it gives you 

something to do but it just doesn't get you anywhere." 

 

"Van Wilder"

 

 


 

 

"It's better not to know so much, than to know so much that isn't so."

 

"Dr. Henry Garretson"

 

 


 

 

"It's not the money.... it's the money."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"A smart man learns from one's mistakes, 

a smarter one learns from other's (mistakes)."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, 

but he who hates correction is stupid." 

 

"Proverbs 12:1"

 


 

 

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding 

but delights in airing his own opinions." 

 

"Proverbs 18:2"

 


 

 

"I did that once too, but I didn't keep doing it."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"The probability that someone is watching you is directly 

proportional to the stupidity of your actions."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"There are two ways to do this, my way and the wrong way."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"If you always do what you've always done, 

then you'll always get what you've always got."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a

 man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."

 

"Winston Churchill"

 


 

 

"Second place is just the first looser!"

 

"John Force"

 


 

 

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely

 in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, 

thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming,

wow!! what a ride!!"

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"No one ever drown in their own sweat."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on."

 

"Author Unknown - taken from my wife's father's beer mug."

 


 

 

"I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Madder than a 3 legged dog tryin' to bury a turd on a frozen pond."

 

"Larry the Cable Guy"

 


 

 

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

 

"Homer Simpson"

 


 

 

"If at first you don't succeed... Give up, 

There's no sense in being a damned fool about it!"

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"A smart question deserves an intelligent answer.

 That was not a smart question."

 

"Author Unknown"


 

 

"A positive attitude might not cure every situation but it will 

annoy enough people to make it worth your while."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"I tried once to have a positive attitude... I knew it wouldn't work."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Good from far, far from good."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Life is what you make of it. 

But the tools are too expensive and others keep stealing my plans."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession; 

I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."

 

"U.S. President - Ronald Reagan"

 


 

 

"Its not if you win or lose, its how bad you beat the guy in 2nd place."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Some mornings it just isn't worth chewing through the leather straps."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"I'm here to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable!"

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Trample the weak, hurdle the dead."

 

"Author Unknown"

 


 

 

"Question authority, it’s what made this country great!"

 

"Blue70 - 2GCOG Message Board"

 

 


 

 

"The only thing you get for free is bad advice."

 

"Bill Rochester"

 


 

 

"Some people have so many sticks jammed in their colon

 it rivals a barrel of Lincoln Logs." 

"Psycohamster - 2GCOG Message Board"

 

 


 


"Never underestimate a motivated gearhead with a wrench in one hand

 and a beer in the other!!"

"Author Unknown"




"I'm here to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable!""

"Author Unknown"



"The American people should not forget that freedom of speech is a two way street."

"U.S. President - George W. Bush"



"I don't know why I did it,
I don't know why I liked it,
and I don't know why I'll do it again."

"Bart Simpson - The Simpson's"



"Children seldom misquote you. In fact,
they usually repeat word for word what
you shouldn't have said."

"Author Unknown"



"What's the maximum height from which a cat can be dropped and still land
on its feet? We (the cat and I) were up to 10 feet before the wife put an
end to our test. By the way, it's very quite around the house now, as the
wife isn't talking to me, and the cat won't come near me."

"Richard Stoll - Seattle, Wash., Parade Magazine 11/25/2001"



"Bodging is putting a round peg in a square hole
with brute strength and ignorance."

"Cathy Rogers - Junk Yard Wars"



"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former."

"Albert Einstein"



"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man"

"POGO - Walt Kelly's Comic Strip"



"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence."

"Henrik Tikkanen"



"Let us be thankful for the fools,
but for them, the rest of us could not succeed."

"Mark Twain"



"Despite the high cost of living,
it remains a popular item."

"Author Unknown"



"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it."

"Author Unknown"



"We make a living by what we get,
we make a life by what we give."

"Winston Churchill"



"Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks."

"Wright"



"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement
speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical
caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success."

"Robert Orben"



"It's God's job to forgive Osama bin Laden...
It's our job to arrange the meeting....."

"The United States Marines"